DECONSTRUCTION OF THE SELF

DECONSTRUCTION OF THE SELF

Deconstructing aspects of myself is a ritual i do on a daily basis, both consciously and unconsciously. It was this realization that forced me to approach the reasons for my behavior towards myself physically and emotionally. I needed to gain understanding of why i question myself continuously both in the way i look and the way i act.

I began to see that the shy attitude i have towards life in general was due to the way i saw myself, and how i wanted others to see me, an aspect i had never questioned before. I felt the time had come to push my own comfort boundaries and to include the visual aspects of my self into my work, rather than just being the creator.

i began with photographing myself, keeping myself out of focus with my vast amount of movement, as i wasn’t ready to completely put myself out there for judgement, i wanted to hold back the critical information a viewer would be looking for within a photograph of a figure, the face – my identity.

It was this stubborn attitude towards myself and my unhappiness, that forced me to hide my identity from the viewer, instead i wanted to give an overload of the less important information about myself, by layering photograph after photograph of myself on top of each other, until it began to blend into each other – messing up my true identity, hiding behind my own superficial being – giving me the power and control i so badly needed in my life.